Think Before You Speak

“Think before you speak”.

I know I’ve heard that expression a time or two growing up.  I bet it sounds familiar to you as well.  It’s a pretty common phrase with a very deep meaning.

What happens when you truly stop and think before you let words come out of your mouth?  In today’s world and with the pace we function under, with additional stressors of work/life balance, our words can come out faster than we can even begin to form them.  Words can have all types of impacts….they can bless someone, they can bring a smile to someone’s face or they can hurt someone so deeply that they feel the words are etched in their mind like a tattoo forever yet it took a nano-second to say it without thinking.

Have you ever wished you could take back words you’ve said?  I know I have.  We’ve all been there.  We are human. And knowing it’s not possible to take words back, we most likely feel guilty for harming the other with words that weren’t really true and were more than likely said in anger.

The Bible even speaks about the damage our tongue can do if not bridled.

“So, too, the tongue is a small part of the body, yet it has great pretensions.” James 3:5

James also writes in a previous passage (one of my favorites):

“Let every person be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger. ” James 1:19

We all know the tongue has no bones but can break a heart.

Each day we have a choice as we interact with those in our life.  Each of us have our own story and own journey that we are on and we don’t know what someone else is going through.  A small compliment can make someone’s day.  A response to an email saying “thank you” can give that person greater motivation and self confidence.

And then there’s the other side of the unbridled tongue that James speaks of in the Bible.

There is a reason James said in chapter 1 verse 19, …..be slow to speak.

When we don’t think before we speak in a heated moment, the tongue can wreak havoc.  I’ve heard it said it’s like the tongue is the spark that starts the forest fire.

Think about it for a minute: You say something out of anger…most likely not meaning it.  The other person hears it and the brain files it away as a memory.  Then comes the guilt of the person that said something hurtful.  The insulted person is off somewhere licking their wounds and emotionally distraught.  So a few words said in a moment of anger has caused a ripple effect much larger than the tongue itself.

Apologies are extremely important if meant sincerely and even greater if changed behavior follows.  And while apologies are always necessary, I think of the analogy about the shattered plate:

If you drop a plate on the floor, then apologize to it, will the pieces all fall back together again perfectly without any fractures?  No, unfortunately not.  But none of us are perfect so we try harder next time to think before we speak.  Keep in mind that words can be forgiven but they are rarely forgotten.

I encourage all of my readers to meditate on the verse James 1:19 “Let every person be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger.”

And furthermore, I challenge you to try this biblical commandment for 21 days (because it takes 21 days to form a habit) and watch the transformation of your new behavior when speaking to others.

God Bless!