Dear younger me,
You are 17 years old right now and you think you are ready for the world. After all, you’ve had to grow up pretty quickly.
If I think back 26 years ago, then you are most likely reading this propped up on your bed with pillows fluffed up behind you. I know you have headphones on, as you always do, and I’m sure it’s playing one of Michael Jackson’s songs. Either that or New Kids On The Block.
You feel like time is moving way too slow but trust and believe me that one day you will wish it didn’t move so fast.
You will find freedom from your inner turmoil. It will be years down the road but I’m here, 26 years in your future, to tell you that what you face even after you leave home will prepare you to be the warrior that is reined in inside you right now.
There will be times you want to give up but you have resilience. You have the drive to go on. You are not a quitter…YOU ARE A FIGHTER!
The friends that seem so important to you today will not be there in a couple of years. They are good friends to you now but they will not be traveling with you along your journey. You will come upon new friends in life. The ones meant to build roots with you will stay through thick and thin. Try to remember back when you were little and Momma told you that you’d be lucky to count your good friends on one hand. This is very true. It’s not the quantity of friendships that you will have but the quality of them that make them so special. Treasure each and every one of them.
The boy you can’t wait to marry when you are of age? I would tell you to reconsider that but you already have your mind set and well….I already know how that turns out. Let’s put it this way….he was your first love but not your last.
Your heart will be broken many times over and you will walk through some of the darkest valleys as time goes on.
You will cross paths with many that make an impact in your life. Good friends, lifelong friends, new co-workers, a German Shepherd that will steal your heart and God will become pivotal in your life. I know right now you don’t attend church and you still have the children’s Bible that was given to you as a young child. Trust me when I tell you that I become a bit of a nut when it comes to books later on. We will own about 7 Bibles. Don’t ask! But you will love the church I found us. It will be very healing for you and me!
You will visit Nana often in Forest Lawn Cemetary. One day you will honor her by choosing her last name after a painful divorce the second time around. It will be a reinvention of yourself.
Make sure you play as many card games as you find time for with your Uncle Dale while he’s living there. The good die young and while I write this letter to you my eyes well up with tears because I miss him even now. Give him a big hug around the neck and remember those special times.
Finally, just know that the battles you fight today with your mother won’t last forever. She will stop drinking as you have wished on many a star and prayed many a prayer at night. There may still be rocky times between you and her but be willing to be compassionate and learn to forgive easily. You don’t see it now but you will laugh together, she will be the one you call first when you’re having a bad day at work and you’ll pick out your favorite polish for your toes when you have a mother/daughter pedicure on a random Saturday afternoon. You will view her in a totally different light and become so proud of her strength and determination to conquer something that had a huge grip on her life. And then you will realize how much you truly are like your mother and be thankful for the traits that have allowed you to be who you are. After all, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.
Also, remember to give yourself grace at times too…those words coming from one of our dearest friends.
You will grow stronger for yourself and those around you. They need you to be strong for them when they see no other way. They will call on you for strength and you will be able to provide it in a split second moment.
You will work for a great company and grow tremendously in your career. You will have wonderful bosses that appreciate your hard work and dedication. Those are the ones to truly model your professionalism after. The co-workers you may come in contact with that make life miserable for you…just remember, they are miserable with themselves. Always take the high road. Don’t let anyone make you bitter in this life. It’s too short lived to give anyone that kind of rent-free space in your head.
You will walk through the deepest waters but find comfort when I tell you…you will make it and you will get through….stronger than you are today.
Enjoy life….learn all you can…and remember that God won’t give you anything you can’t handle.
And while you may think it sounds old today….being 40-something is still young and totally fabulous!
Love, Chelise
Hi! Welcome to Ginger Reflections. My name is Chelise and I'm happy you stopped by to look around my blog. I hope you find something that piques your interest. You'll find I enjoy writing about travel, beauty, faith and life in general. Grab a cup of coffee, stay awhile and enjoy your visit.
That was well written Chelise and so true. Life goes by so fast. You are a great example of someone that has worked for everything she has accomplished and is so humble. Thank you for being an inspiration and always being there for me. I’m very lucky to have you in my life and so grateful to have such a beautiful girlfriend. I love you Chelise!!!
Thank you babe. I love you!
Ah yes, grace my friend. We give it bountifully to others, so why don’t we give to ourselves nearly as much as we should?
Beautifully written:)
I think it’s always easier to give grace away but we can be too hard on ourselves. Something to always focus on for self love.
Thank you for commenting, Chris.
Chelise, that was a reality within itself. If we all had “known what we know now”, I always thought that was such a foolish saying, and now,of course, who am I to question that saying now. The truth will always set us free, but what we go through to learn who we are, sometimes seems necessary. I am. so grateful as to where we are today, andI am so proud of you and to be your mother. You are an outstanding writer and a very graceful young lady.
Thank you Momma. I’m glad you liked this post. I appreciate the sweet words. I’m equally as proud of you.