When The Time Is Right…You’ll Know

It’s been a year and a half since I lost my Rudi.  He was very first German Shepherd and we shared a bond that can’t be replicated between two humans, in my opinion.   There are posts about him peppered in throughout my blog.  He’s was an integral part of my life…I only wish his lifespan had been much greater than 12 years.

I remember after losing him I was in a fog and thought to myself that I’d never get another.  I’d never want to relive the devastation of saying goodbye to such a loyal companion.

Friends and family always said to me, “You will get another and when the time is right, you will know.”

My mind was set at that moment and for a lot of months thereafter…no way!  Rudi was going to be my once in a lifetime furbaby that couldn’t be replicated.

But do we really want to replicate what we had with a beloved animal?  We can’t replace, that’s for sure.  There’s no replacing because they have their own distinct personalities and “goof-ball” moments.

Rudi was a special guy and one that had a light so bright that nothing and no one could dim.

For over a year, I wouldn’t even entertain the thought of another puppy.  It was strange…a part of me felt like I was betraying him which is not a rational thought but I’m sure some of you may understand that concept.

I didn’t want to compare another puppy to him.  It’s not fair to a puppy to be in the shadow of a beloved canine predecessor.

Honestly, I was even getting used to coming and going as I pleased.  Didn’t have to rush right home after work.  I could run errands or hang out with friends for dinner and drinks and know I wasn’t neglecting a responsibility at home.

I could travel without worrying about boarding and if my dog was being care for the way I would care for him….which let’s be real, no one really will ever care of love your dog the exact way you do.  That’s a given.

But even though those extra hours after work can be “free time” to do with what you want…you still have to come home at some point.  And you still miss that greeting at the door no matter how much time has gone by.

So for the past week, I have thought a lot about bringing another puppy into my life.  It’s funny…I’ve read so many things online.  Mainly about local breeders but I thought it would interesting to take a quiz on whether or not you’re ready for a puppy.  I didn’t need a quiz but humor me for a moment:

• How much time was I planning to spend training my new puppy?
• How many hours would I be away from my puppy at any given time?
• Would I invest in obedience class?
• Would I socialize my new puppy appropriately?
• Would I have the ability to spend necessary money for emergencies?
• Am I prepared for added expenses with vet bills, crates, food, toys, etc.
• What would be my method of potty training?

All of these are great questions for someone that has never owned a dog.  I’ve been there and done that.  For me, the puppy stage is the best.  There may be others that disagree but it’s a matter of opinion, I think.  I love the idea of raising a puppy and grooming them to be the best loving and obedient dog you can have.

I answered the questions above for the first time 13 years ago before I brought Rudi home.  They seemed easy questions.  How hard can it be?  Oh it’s work…I remember well.  But it’s not the work behind a new puppy that I had to make peace with.

My heart had to be ready to let another puppy in.  All of those questions above are important attributes to raising a well reared puppy.  But was my heart ready to be open again and let another furbaby into my life to love in a way I know I can?  Had my heart mended enough to where I’d let this puppy walk beside the shadow of Rudi and not overpowered under the weight of it?

Well, today I put those questions to the test and went to look at puppies today.  I hadn’t picked up a German Shepherd puppy in over 13 years so I was fully expecting to be overcome by emotion and most likely cry from old memories flooding back.

Surprisingly, that didn’t happen.  All of the male pups were spoken for except one….a black and tan German Shepherd.

I half expected the same interaction that I had with Rudi the first time I saw him.  But I was projecting something onto a little ball of fur and that was unfair.

He was handed to me and I fell in love.  His little tongue was sticking out and his pudgy little belly was so adorable.  Nothing to cry about. Only smiles and the sweet smell of puppy breath when I gave him kisses on his face. Rudi and I had our moment 13 years ago when I picked him up for the first time and this was a new experience that I’m sure Rudi was happy about up in heaven.  He knows what a great life I would give to a new little GSD pup.

So I made a decision today.  I decided it was time to fill my home with a mischievous puppy and a few sleepless nights of a little one getting used to his new surroundings until he realizes that he’s safe with me.

Somehow I know Rudi is around in spirit and will help him on his way to being a well mannered pup in the Hayes household.

Rudi knows I will never try to replace him because that would be impossible.  His collar will still hang on my bed post where it has been for a year and a half.  His presence will always be prevalent and he will always hold a very special place in my heart.

But because I loved Rudi so much, he made my heart bigger…and because of him, there is more space in my heart for another little guy.

Stay tuned for more posts on welcoming Sir Tobias Hayes to the family!